One of the issues that most concern parents when a situation of legal separation or divorce is approaching is what will happen to the children and who will be in charge of exercising custody. Although the general rule (when circumstances do not prevent it) should be shared custody, reality shows us that there are different reasons why a judge may decide that this is not the case, giving custody to one of the parents and designing a visitation regime, if necessary, in favor of the other parent.
In order to clarify your doubts, take note of the following cases in which you may lose custody of your children.
Cases in which you may lose custody of your children
1. If you do not attend to your children’s needs and care.
This is one of the most sensitive reasons why you may lose custody of your children.
By this we mean that there are nuances and subtleties of everyday life that, cumulatively, will make the other parent assume the role of primary caregiver and, logically, this fact will work against you if you want joint custody.
The maxim applied by judges is to assess, among many other points, whether you take care of the essential care of the child, such as feeding, schooling, health, hygiene… Failing in these aspects will only cause you to lose custody when your attitude is serious enough (for example, if your children do not attend school regularly).
In some cases, when the level of neglect is extreme, you can lose custody.
Our advice is that you should always remain attentive to the needs of your children and be involved in their care to the same extent as your partner, not because you want to win any court battle, but simply because it is your responsibility and your duty as a parent.
2. If you lead a disorderly lifestyle
Stability, at all levels, is basic for any human being, and even more so for children.
Growing up in harmony and with secure attachments requires reference figures that help children develop in their daily lives with stability, with clear rules and defined guidelines.
If your life is a merry-go-round and you are not able to create the structure your children need, it will be more complicated when it comes to sharing custody with your ex-partner.
This concept encompasses many aspects: economic stability, emotional stability, having a home according to the needs of the child… It is about being a safe figure for the child. Beware also of delegating the supervision of the children in excess.
There have been cases of loss of custody for leaving the children under the care of the grandparents most of the time, an attitude that is far from occasional family support and is closer to neglect in the exercise of custody.
3. If you change your residence frequently or travel a lot.
Your job may be forcing you to work more than you would like, or you may be going through a life or work change where you need a change of scenery.
However, these factors may influence a judge’s decision regarding child custody, as your life changes may interfere with your children’s development.
Keep in mind that, especially after the breakup of the nuclear family in which the children have grown up until the moment of separation, it is necessary to keep the other areas of their lives as intact as possible.
If we add to a divorce constant travel or changes of residence, it is likely that we are not contributing to improve their stability.
However, the judge’s decision will depend on many factors and may be reversible if your circumstances change at a later date.
The important thing, above all, is that your children are well. It is also possible that the child himself, with the capacity to express his will in this process, may want the change, which would change the situation and may tip the balance in your favor: it is not about ‘punishing’ you for traveling or moving, but to protect the interests of the child.
4. If you try to turn your children against your ex-partner.
There is nothing more unpleasant and unnecessary in a separation or divorce process than lashing out at the other parent, no matter how much you may have personal reasons to be resentful.
If you make noise in the breakup by constantly criticizing your ex-partner in front of the children, the so-called parental alienation syndrome may be manifesting itself.
Although it is a controversial concept in the field of psychology, there is no doubt that many fathers and mothers carry out a real brainwashing of their children, often motivated by the fear of losing them and by a kind of unhealthy attachment to them, leaving aside the welfare of the children and putting their own fears and shortcomings first.
Be careful with this type of attitude because, beyond the fact that you are risking the custody of your children, you will be harming them much more than you think: if you teach them to distrust one of the fundamental pillars of their lives, you will be teaching them to distrust the whole world.
5. If you engage in abusive or violent behavior.
Logically, if you lack sufficient tools to raise a child in a healthy manner, it is likely that a judge will determine that you should not have custody of your child.
Cases of abuse or mistreatment, both psychological and physical, are a clear threshold that will keep you out of parenting, and you may be denied even the visitation that is usually agreed upon in single-parent custody cases.
Beware also of addictions, and not only those involving alcohol or drugs: in a scenario of increased consumption of legal substances for psychiatric treatment (depression, anxiety, insomnia …), the abuse of such drugs can also become a problem, not only for your health and your vital development, but for that of your children.
Emotional stability is basic and you must work on it to provide a suitable environment for your children.
Finally, remember that in any court proceeding where child custody is decided, everything will revolve around the concept of the best interests of the child. This means that, above and beyond you or your ex-partner, your children’s well-being is paramount, even if it means taking measures that take you away from them, perhaps temporarily.
Often, once the circumstances that led you to lose custody change, you can recover it by initiating a procedure for modification of measures.
For all these cases, you can count on the support of our team of family lawyers.
